What's up? I'm Bruno.
I am in Austrias coldest city, Vienna ...
No big deal, what ever ...
I'm the host of "Funky time" the most important Tv Fashion show in any German speaking country.
Apart from Germany.
"Funky Time" is over influential.
In fact the Austrians fashionistas live there lives according to my in or out list.
In Autism, out Chlamydia !!
Why is Autism so cool at the moment? Becaus it's funny.
Right ...
"Funky Time" has interviewed everyone in the European fashion world..
Can you look at the camera and say, "You''re watching Funky time with Bruno."
You are watching "Funky Time" program with Bruno, and it's really a great show.
Can you do it like even more like a black guy you know, more like an African.
Aah,like this... Yeah - Yeah - Yeah ...
Your are watching "Funky time with Bruno", yo man, fuck man, welcome to the jungle.
Something maybe a bit more crazy, maybe show a bit of skin or something?
No I don't think so.
What about just like one cool rugsack, one of the balls?
No ...
I'm the most exiting and i'm visiting the town. From the fashion streets of Milan
Only for the German girls ... my great hair.
Modeling, a lot of people think it's easy, but it's the hardest job in the world, isn't it?
It's very hard.
Standing on heels all day .
And everyone is watching you... So you have to make sure your walk is good.
Yes it is really very hard to remember when to bring your right leg forward and then your left ...
and then again right, then left again ... - Yes !
And especially the turn it's..it's so scary.
Being the hoost of "Funky time", brings Bruno always seated on the front row.
You put on some waight.
The kattle is calling the pot black.
Hold your shoulders back, this is a Fashion show, not a slide auction.
My personal assistant, Koukos is my rock.
He's also my stylist.
These glasses are to much ? - Yeah i'll loos them.
They are too much like... hey everybody look at me, look at my glasses!
Everybody likes to say "where are my glasses" He's also my nutritionist.
I have a second assistant,
but i can't remember his name.
Bruno has known true love twice in his life.
Once for 7 minutes, with Milly of Milly and Vanilly.
But for the last 9 years i was head over heals in love with a flight attendant called Diesel.
The jet pilot can operate in private you know.
Boring stay at home time !!
How much do you want? Just fill the glasses.
In September 2008 i went to "Milan Fashion week"
To shoot a new season of "Funky Time"
Bruno had backstage access for the hotest show of the week,
"DE LA PRADA"
So i wore the jewel of my wardrobe, a suite made entirely out of Velcrot.
I'm wearing this, this is a prototype made by developer Frederique Vaoun.
Serious i was looking at it, can i have one?
Sorry it's a prototype, it's for one hour.
-Well now, listen ... We have to finish the set.
Get me out of this !
Bruno opts out.
For the second time in this century, the world has turned on Austrias greatest man.
Just because he was brave enough, to try something new.
* Bruno was blacklisted * I GO TO THE FRONT ROW.... NO!!
The first fall...
I was Fired from "Funky Time.
I realised that night that the fashion wold was superficial and vacuous.
I decided instead to go to Los Angeles,
to become a celebrity.
And i was going to bee the biggest Austrian Superstar since Hitler.
I'm not coming with you!! - Why not..? Because you're out, you humiliate me.
I'm so sorry i humilated you. I've gotta go.
Babber... i love you.
Diesel I Love You !!... Diesel.
I will roll with you.
Who are you?
I am Lutz. Your assistant's assistant.
Let me come to Los Angeles with you.
I'll help you become famous.
Why would I need your help; you're totally unqualified?
Because I think you're... amazing.
Will I wake up to you masturbating over me?
I promise, I won't wake you up.
Upon arrival in LA I had to masked to avoid the paparazzi.
My plan is to become the largest gay film star after Schwarzenegger.
So, I went to the first meeting with Hollywood agents for actors.
I'm Bruno, I was born in Gklagkonfolu, I have 19 years in. ..
Of course, you know me as the head of TV shows "Funky Time".
OK.
I understand that, just look at the script for "Jerry Mangkouair ...
Try to see how you go
Jerry enters ... -Not, points since that says: Hello ...
Hello .. Hello I am looking for my wife!
Shut up, woman! This is improvisation.
I could hear your voice or laugh with you
OK, stop. Wait ...
Let you stop for two minutes.
Stop here.
Nowhere in the script does not say: it poses some time. You're here because you want to play ...
I want to be a star in big Hollywood movie!
Can you achieve this? -No.
Definitely no chance.
But I managed to get a role in popular TV series.
As extras.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury ...
Defense as you know ...
For more than 12 years ...
Stop!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury ... Fear that m not happy to speak tonight
As you know the defense ...
... I personally know the accused ...
It is hard to know ...
But personal debts by forced to take bribes.
Cut!
As you know ...
the accused was in a position in more than 12 years
during which we met several times
It is hard to know ... - Score! I have a feeling that something is amiss.
Must be repeated.
World stars you is at your fingertips.
We are in L.A
You are actually my second choice
I wanted to go to the same salon where the wax goes Selma Hayek
But those who booked for the next 4 days.
They say they are very exhausted every time Selma work. - O God, and if so
then it must have been a lot of hairy.
They say that after it has enough to fill quilt.
When we are already at it, let's you clean! - Will I hurt
Not much.
Phone ...
Hello? -What are you doing mate?
Here nothing? -I just talked with the TV station.
These are great news!
For two days.
Will odgledati and decide.
Ogrebali save me Zlatan.
I ... While you have čistili.
Whether this involves cleaning and my eggs? - What?
I told the woman in the salon.
Izbjeljuje my anus. Is l 'a a chance to see and deal?
Yes, of course. OK, I'll call Brenda to contract.
If you could pull your fingers out Zlatan my moment ...
OK. I think we are finished. Once again ... says that you remove your fingers from my anus.
This is a guy just said ...
I do not speak to you already the woman here.
Who has the audio recording?
I want to listen to the recording. I want to hear what all this idiot said.
Let the image.
I booked Paula Abdul very soon after!
How crazy!
But where is the furniture?
It's gone.
I told them to move it out for today because of the interview.
Without furniture, where will Paula sit?
Are you trying to ruin me?
Wait.
Listen to me guys, if you want earn a little money?
Paula Abdul, a member of the jury in the U.S. idol Hello, hello! How are you?
I'm Bruno. -Nice.
We're glad you're here. Here you go, sit on our furniture Majeed.
These are people meksički chairs ...
You can sit freely.
OK, tell me something about your humanitarian work?
How old is important to help other people? Of vital importance for my life.
It is like the air we breathe ...
and the water we drink.
It is very important to me. If you give love, love, and you will receive.
It fills me and fills my life.
You must ogladnila, Come from asking a klopu ...
Oh my God ...
This is very bad for me. Excuse me, I want to go.
Out.
Return to ... Please return!
Yes, I understand but ...
Paula's Agent spread the word. We've been blacklisted.
What about...
He won't come.
Stevie? -No.
Will Smith? -No.
Adolf Hitler (Bratt Pitt); -No.
Fuhrer? (Mel Gibson)
How can I make a show without the celebrities?
Don't worry... we have 24 hours, the show will go on.
PROBNA PUBLIKA Next day
This group is a representative sample viewers would react to the show.
I arranged an interview with Harrison Ford.
OK! Great. -I.
As you know, today, evaluate new tv show.
Show with famous authors and Head Brune.
Hi, I'm Lloyd Robinson. Lloyd ... Hello, I'm Denny Bond.
Hi. Is told to you that day when I went to the anus bleaching?
It is very important to rate the show because if it was assessed at 80% or more
It would certainly be very interesting and successful TV show.
Who is ready to meet with many stars?
I am! Because this is "A - list of known" with Bruno!
Hello, how are you? - Good ... thanks for the invitation to your show.
This is part of the show called, "As the children."
OK.
OK, this is Britneyina sister ... I can not remember how it called?
James Lin. James Lin exactly ...
Is she a star?; -No.
OK, let's see what she wears in the stomach.
OK ... Do you think this is ugly fetus?
Yes.
Pay attention to hidden face of ... as if the child is a star
and in fact the child trećerazredne ličnost known.
Am I right? - More četvrtorazredne known.
Do you think your child is retarded?
Definitely hands and ears, too are not fully developed ...
Probably because the child is not yet completely developed.
What about him? To keep him or abortion?
Abortion.
Now an exclusive interview with Harrison Ford
only seconds away Until then užvajte with Bruno to dance!
And now what you waiting. I, a one in an exclusive interview
With Harrison Ford!
Fuck off!
This is mine.
This was at the end of Lloyd's idea.
At the end of ... was ...
To describe the show in a "lights out?
Will someone describe it?
This is the biggest bunch of crap that I've ever seen.
It is always wonderful when nađe one which do not like ...
Drop a fun and funny.
What kind of sick viewer would like to see this?
Yes, it is always two, always.
I wanted to pull out his own eyes needles. - These pins should borrow from me.
Can I go to them to explain to them? No, not you.
I want them odvučem attention. Kiss Me! -No.
Neither reasonable person would think of such a program
If there is no moral or any deeper meaning.
Oh God.
Manager is an idiot with no talent.
L 'idot no one knows talent dance like this?
I would say that he knows.
Do not go ... This is my career
I've invested all your money in her ... please ...
"It was worse than cancer"
I do not want your show ...
They don't want it.
I don't know, how you still put up with me.
I'm nothing. I should go back to Austria.
No... you're amazing.
Lutz, here's a good one. I have to make a porn.
Ron Paul, predjsjednički candidate in 2008 I'm here with Congressman Ron Paul
Who in 2008 was a candidate for President
Tell me, What clothes wear?
Frankly I'm not sure. Oblačim formally in accordance with the job ...
Hang on a minute, a reflector is blown.
Um, relax in another room remedy the defect while?
Of course.
Would you like champagne? -No thanks, not now.
No containers with ice but I know where still can be pushes ... haha
You were great. Have you had many times on TV?
Yes, especially last year.
Do you want a couple of strawberries? -It 's okay.
I burn candles if you do not against.
To relax a little
and if you told someone that reminds the Julio Iglesias?
Of course not, You are much slađi.
I love music ... I dance.
Get out of here!
That's it, almost.
This guy is a freak pederko,
It is not normal. Went to download ...
Failed to Moss or Ron Paul ... How do I then become famous?
I decided to seek advice from najmudrijeg character whom I know
GARRY WILLIAMS, medium. I want to talk Milija the group Milli Vanilli.
Is in Heaven, and if so I was in the VIP part of paradise?
Says that the site is surrounded by trees and flowers
Can I ask whether any advice for me?
He says he will take care of something, as a foundation or something.
Something that would include other people ...
This is a good idea. So if you do so ...
I'll definitely become known around the world.
That's right.
Can I do something that Lucky it did?
Can I kiss him? -Of course.
Lots of luck with your life.
Thanks Milija see clearly now ...
Charity work is the best way to become famous!
So Bruno has to find a great tragedy that will be corrected.
NICOLLA I SUZZANE DEFOSSET, charity PR consultants
Looking for something that does not require much effort and without doing much.
Something that would put me on the "A list"?
Is there something in what you believe, like ...
Something current.
Global warming, situation is only getting worse ...
Excellent
This problem is crucial for our future
But it is solvable in the long run, currently not easy.
And say something that would activate ... say Africa?
OK. Something like a rescue or animal?
No. Hm ... maybe the elephants?
Making the bracelet ... -Making Bracelet of istrebljenih animals.
Hmm, I think that it would not just succeed as you intended.
What is a cool guy humanitarian work? -Rat. Točnije peace and prevention of war.
Whether somewhere in the world a place where no
celebrities is not one said "stop the war"?
What's new place? Someone that no one has ever done that?
I'll become so famous that I resolve world problem. But who?
Cloneey took Darfur ...
Sting Amazon
A Bono took AIDS.
Fortunately, the other one pripizdina to solve.
Middle East.
My plan is to urge both sides to sign of peace.
What Bruno did the super famous.
I guess I have your hat.
Why are you so against Hamas?
Do not you have serious enemies from those of the same sex who love?
I believe you are mixed and Hamas homose ...
I mean that there is a connection between Hamas and homića?
And those who founded Hamas ...
Their boss, did not have much male followers ...
No, homići have nothing to do with Hamas.
It is about food, you understand?
We should, they should be ...
Vegetarian ... beans.
So both of you agree with that?
To agree.
So we achieve progress.
Let's try to find solution, OK?
I'm not gonna be here forever.
Do you agree more Palestinians to return Pyramid of Israel?
This is Egypt, not Palestine.
I do not care where you put them just return them.
Here the object is for the benefit of people ...
Either because they believed in it, convinced are that it is properly
OK, slowly Curo. If you can not convince myself to sign the peace
I hardly become known.
So I decided to try differently access.
A friend told me it would help us to achieve peace.
I know that will come to that.
"I wrote the song because when No hope ...
it will keep you together.
And when the end came to the world,
Jews and Hindus You'll be together
Creating love is my mission
Finally, we are all Christians "
We have other options.
There was no progress and I did not have enough ecstasy for all.
I was ready to give up
But I thought things iznenda who told
In recent years, people have been kidnapped.
I play the recording, which visited the whole world.
The whole world? -Yes.
So the whole world saw their video while they were hostages ...
I'll become known as the I'll be kidnapped.
I'll tell you something that will so angry ...
Yes you will if you have the right rivet gun same with me and shoot me in the head.
Ready? -Yes.
Your hair is too many corners are bent.
Your head's corners are bent from the sun ... To be honest, I want to be famous.
I want to be the best in the industry snatch.
Al Qaeda is so 2,001th -I do not like this.
Can you give some advice?
Lose the war. This is because your king Osama
Looks like a nasty wizard
or grandfather božićnjak beskućnik.
Out, out now!
It took courage to naustimo Middle East.
But Bruno had a new plan
Which implies svraćanje in Africa for a short shopping.
Loutz, this is ours.
And this
Loutz, here it is ...
Be careful...
Madonna has one.
Brangelina has one.
And now Brüno also has one!
That is 13 pounds of black gold.
Call all of the magazines.
We're organizing the best photo shoot the world has ever known.
It will make me so famous. Understood?
Yes, I understand.
My African mal would bring me on the cover of newspapers.
And so ... I hired Best Cinematography
and organized for the best movie trailer photography ever.
We'll make something religious, where my baby was on the cross for example ...
Will represent Jesus, even though my baby black ...
But this is just cool ... -Yes, it's cool.
As Madonna's spot ... -Yes, something like that. What you do not ...
We need two kid who will be on the cross next to my baby.
I agree to have your child say nađe on the cross next to my baby?
Yes, no problem. We have nothing against the cross.
Would your child be OK in the vicinity bees, wasp or hornet?
George is OK with everything, no sweat.
Is it OK to close the dead or umirućih animals?
Yes.
Submitted to the extreme reduction of acceleration? -Yes.
Must there always be a seat for babies or is free to sit in the car?
Yes, no problem. Anyway, was in the seat or free ...
Sure, it looks better without a seat. "Certainly, of course.
Traffic is fast but it will not kill you.
Of course, of course.
Is it OK for your child to be near heavy machinery?
Yes, I already was in the vicinity thereof.
Is it OK to shake hands with them?
Yes.
Perfect.
In the end, is OK with phosphoric lights?
Yes. -Great.
I like him? -He loves them.
How hard? -There are about 15 kg.
15 kilos ... Say.
Can you lose weight stance to 5 pounds until next week?
Next week, 7 days?
Yes, I'll work hard to succeed.
Are you willing to undergo the program for weight loss?
If necessary and if you will lose weight then yes, no problem.
Great! We chose your child will be trained as a Nazi officer
Gurajućui other carts with baby which would represent the Jews ...
The stove ... -U plate?
Congratulations! How you feeling?
Excellent, if you got a job ...
Yes. -Great.
Bruno ... I spoke with the head a "talk show" a Dallas
Great!
OJ, you're gonna be on television.
Loutz, but not total ° MatijinaPrinceza °.
Thank you, thank you
Welcome back to "Today" with. Richard Bayom.
Next customer is a sole parent.
Please welcome Bruno!
Where did you come?
I come from Austria. -Austria ...
What is your impression of Americans? Must have seen them a lot here.
I must say that I love U.S. I love people and African-Americans.
You're a single parent? -Yes.
Most people believe that a child should have two parents.
It is very difficult to raise a child without help the other parent. Am I right?
Am I right?
I'm scared not to do something wrong. Am I right?
I hope you'll find a "true gentleman". Am I right?
Just jealous that you can have any type here!
Can we see your son?
Of course.
Where did this to you baby? L 'to a child heterosexual parents?
I was in the Middle East to address the a crisis, but it's not important now ...
When I went back to the United States dropped I am in a country called Africa
OK? -Africa is not a state? Africa is a continent ...
It was full of African-Americans. -It was full of Africans ...
These are people from Africa. -No, this is a very racist say.
It is correct to say African-Americans.
OK, how do you find your son?
I got it in return.
Replace ... what kind of replacement?
In exchange for what?
In exchange for the Ipod.
What?
It was not any iPod. Restricted Series U2, red and in good condition.
Hang on a second ... You are now father of the baby and put it to you?
What it says on the mother? - Gay Baby.
It is not his name, right?
No, I gave him the traditional African name.
Well, that is called a baby? - The J
Do you think your child is a thing?
Yes because it is black that it can you use as a fashion accessory,
Do it like a dog in the park šećeš
barys and people ... or something. What do you think about it?
I must admit, is a small real magnet for dick.
You took some photos with the baby ...
Likely pursued how much you love this child ...
To see the next picture.
Do we have another picture or this was the last?
What is going on here?
If I have fun and your child will be have fun with me, I sebičan.
Just afraid of the truth!
I do not see any way to think
get out from here with this child in the hands of
and to have someone stop and take you this child?
OK, as you know the program has its final ...
Please want to welcome Santana Megkans from the Department for Child Protection.
What is the legal opinion of the state on this issue.
What's good for the health of children and generally for a child anyway?
This child is here illegally.
This is not true.
I made a deal with her mother.
And this time we take a child under our protection.
Give me my baby! Come back to me baby!
Je l 'to your son? Is beautiful.
He was my son before were taken from me.
So sorry ... God.
What's all of this?
OJ is gone.
I'm committing carbicide.
You have everything to live for.
I am so tired. I can't walk back.
Lutz, you're so strong. And you're just as comfy as a Mexican.
You're so light, Mr. Brüno.
Just like a feather.
You know, I'm only nice to you, because I like you.
Mr. Brüno, your hairbrush is pressing into my back.
That's not my hairbrush.
Where is the key?
Call for help.
Hello, sorry for the situation in room
But I assure you that the bathroom impeccably clean.
Can you find the key? I think that there
I'll just second.
Brian, can you come now?
Two types are cuffed one the other in bed.
The room has a bicycle with a lengthening čijem at the end dlido ...
The room is in chaos, I'm going to see whether they can find a key.
Currently I am very fucking anxious.
If you could find a key that can arise.
See there ...
What is going on here? To tell me that ...
You can switch off the first tv? I accidentally prdnio not want this movie.
I'm sorry about that, but ...
I refuse to pay. Why would anyone want to watch this movie?
I'm scared that you can not do it
If you could ... Hey, how's your name?
Podsjećaš me one Latino porn star.
God Hates Gay group of homosexual activists against
Excuse me, can you unlock us? Please ...
What is going on here?
So what can you look?
That was the best day of my life.
It was super, fantastic.
Finally, we are together.
Are you retarded, Lutz?
Last night I was "carbohydrate-tripped" up.
I had no idea, I didn't know what I was doing.
I was high on Ragin' Cajun Potato Skins.
I am Brüno.
I don't date near nothing-assistants.
Nobody loves as much as I love you...
And I know, that you love me too.
Please accept me. Or die alone.
No.
Where can you go Lutz?
If you leave me, I'll not give you one cent.
You can't do that anyways. You're broke.
I don't need you anyway, Lutz.
I can do well by myself.
I am Brüno!
It should happen at a low point.
Lutz left ...
I was about to give up my dream of celebrity.
And suddenly it hit me.
All the most famous stars in the world,..
Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kevin Spacy the ...
They all have one thing in commmon,..
They were all straight.
To become famous I have to quit guys.
I just needed to find a cockaholics anonymous.
Things have got to change.
I've thought of becoming straight.
One time straight, can I still play the clarinet?
If it doesn't remind you about some of the behavior that you're engaged in
when you put your lips around it.
If it doesn't remind you of that, go for it play the clarinet with everything inside you.
If it does remind you of that, i say put it down, give it away, let a friend hold it.
Until you know in your mind you're ready to pick it up again and it wouldend remind you of that.
What if i put a flute up my stinker?
I wouldn't do that because it would remind you of your former lifestyle.
So you don't put any flutes or instuments up your ass? - Absolutely not !
-You know why? -Why?
So you don't put any flutes or instuments up your ass? - Absolutely not !
Well, that would be bad.
Is there any music that I shouldn't listen to, any bands?
Sinead O'Connor,The Indigo girls,..
O course the Village People.
Then i become stait?
Any new hobby's that i should pick up.
Do you enjoy hiking?
Or lifting weights? - Sure !!
There is nothing like working out, and lifting weights,
and buiding your muscles around some other man that are not gay.
I am totaly irresistible to gay guys.
They see me and they want to stuff me.
- OK. - So how do i protect against those guys.
If they get close to you hit them, and leave the situation.
How do you spot a homosexual?
It's very hard to do, most of them dress no different than me and you.
Myself, - It's kind of like..
Terrorists, if they dress like the police
how would you know it's him?
For the obvious things you should look for.
So if someone approaches you on the street and is very nice to you,
you know they are homosexual. - Most likely...
How should i protect myself from being attacked bij Homosexuals?
They probebly would attack from behind.
Again if i'm a homosexual and i'm just trying to run in and kiss you?
Boom !! He moved in at a wrong range.
Let's say a homosexual has got you on the ground.
What if a homosexual get you down here?
Go to pool this down, i will block this and will hit with the elbow.
How can you protect yourself from a dildo?
Lets say i'm trying...
Like this.
And disarms the dildo? - Yes.
Is it harder to defend against a black dildo?
No, it's just as easy to defend against.
So i'm attacking !!!
Trap it, work the knees and elbow...
How do you defend yourself from a man with two dildo's? - Here Boom!
And if he's running with his pants down? - Here BOOM !!... break an arm.
Thank you. It was fantastic.
It's very usefull. - It's very different than what i have ever worked with.
So you were never gay?
It's ironic because you have amazing blowjob lips.
These lips were made to praise the lord.
No they are made for something else but you're not using them for that.
Are there any activities you suggest were i'm surrounded just by straight guys?
Hurry up, get in here. What? .... - Make this bed!!
Hurry up !!... Make the bed.
But do you have something maybe a double ... -Make the bed!!!
-Would you hold the sheet over there? No, you will need that, Get Down ...
-What? -I said get down ... and do push ups.
This line around here is the line you don't cross .
By the way, where is your uniform ? Go get your uniform on.
Do it.
Oh God.
What's up with the scarf?
This is like my own ... Let me intoduce you to someone.
What are you doing?
Stand to position of attention soldier! -Do it !
Stand still soldier.
That is not part of the uniform ... You need to take that of !
This outfit is to machy machy as it is and i added some horizontal lines.
Do you have an attitude candidate?
Get down candidate! Do it!
What type of belt is that candidate?
What is that? - D & G
-What is D &G ? DOLCE & GABBANA... Hallo!
Do it with your right hand.
That's not good.
Can I tell you about the person that changed my life? - Of course that's Carl Lagerfelt.
No actually his name is Jezus.
Jesus is in this room right now.
He never leaves us, he never forsake us, ...
-He's here ... -Amazing.
That's exactly right, is amazing.
You want to be famous? You'll be one that's so famous!
You will prepare the way for other young men
all over the world who want to come out of the homosexual lifestyle.
And to make a change in their lives.
And they say, if Bruno can do it I can do it.
How did you change Bruno? And you say.. it's Jezus.
He has changed me. But he wants to come in to your heart right now.
Are you ready to make that change?
Are you hitting on me?
No, i'm not.
Because that was realy hard, that whole stage.
Are there any outdoor activities that I should do if I want to become straight?
Absolutely.
-Hi. -Hi.
Heve you ever been hunting?
I have never killed an animal, apart from a hamster that i suffocated in Mykonos.
Do you prefer the vagina or the manly hands? ....
-I prefer the vagina. -Me too.
I love a women with a vagina.
Yeah ...
My favorite.
We were just talking about vaginas.
About what?
Vagina's ... The woman's vagina ...
-What you wear is not much fantasizing Oooh Yes ...
-Really? -Fantasy.
Realy wonderful fabric.
It is my favorite.
Look at the 4 of us ... We are so like the Sex and the City girls.
Which one are you Danny?
I ain't one of them. I am Danny.
That is such a Samantha thing to say.
I've never been out of the city before .
And... how does it feel?
I feel a bit vulnerable.
You know I am 19 years old, i've got a perfect body ...
I don't wanna wake up tomorrow morning and find out...
that i'm taunt in my ass A-pillar.
You probably aint going or what.... - But you just ditched us.
There are so many stars in the sky.
Makes you think of all the hot guys in the world.
Mike?
-Yes. It's me... Bruno.
- There is a homosexual. -What?
I think we'll both be safe if i sleep with you here tonight.
I don't give a god damn, get to your fucking tent and leave me alone.
Okay goodnight.
Sweet dreams.
Can I come in?
It's just this bear undoing my clothes. He could get interest in pats of me
Get the fuck out of here.
Reverend Pitzei found me to much of a hand full, and put me in touch with one of his chumps .
You look descent in that.
You look like a straight guy, how's that?
Women are good for us.
They're good, even though....
they appear to us to be terribly conventional.
And we find that some what irritating
That they complain so much.
Right.
But the need that...
We need many of the things, that at first glance are ...
annoying and irritating...
and women often don't stick to the point.
They are often talking about one thing, and then another and another ...
and they never get back to the first point...
maybe ever.
I'm repulsed by the idea of making the sex with a woman.
The important thing is to be around women, some what that you find...
tolerable or interesting ...
And give them a chance to seduce you.
"Swingers Party"
I hardly do get them first?
Of all nights for us to swing was the night of our honeymoon.
And what is your favorite position?
That would be missionary or reverse cowgirl.
What is "reverse cowgirl" ?
Show me, I pretent as a woman .
Like i'm sitting here ...
- And you'll be sitting like that ... Right.
- That's called reverse cowgirl . Right.
And then when you're faceing me that's called cowgirl.
This one is cowgirl or reverse cowgirl ?
This is cowgirl, and then when you turn the opposite way, it's reverse cowgirl.
And what other positions are there?
Car driver ...
- 69 - This is the girls position, you don't wanna be like this for ever.
There is missionary, doggy style ...
What's doggy style like?
You'll be bent over like a dog does it ...
-Like that? -Yes. -And then what will you be doing?
If you was a woman i'd be happy. - Show me !
I would be humping you like that ... -I can't wait to do this to a women.
Anybody wants a sandwich ?
Right ...
Good boy ...
Ohh.. fuck yeah..... - You're doing a nice job.
Come on, try to look at my eyes ...
Look me in the eyes, you can do that.
Why would he look you in the eyes when he is likking our pussy??
Just for concentration. - He does not like other guys.....
This is a swingers party !!
You don't want pussy if you don't want fucking ? Than quit touching me and quit looking at me.
I didn't come here for no fucking queer show. - Me neither.
-O.K. lets keep it at that then.
This is a fucking swingers party, right guys?
Hi ... Come with me.
I was just going to the kitchen -Ohh, yea, yea...
Let's maybe forget we know each other, I thing it's broken !! ...
Let's get to know each other a little bit first ...
-What? -You must seduce a lot of men.
I don't want you to do something that you will regret..
you wake up tomorrow and you've lost your virginity and you feel ashamed.
You know, let's take this a little slower ...
Sit the fuck down. SIT THE FUCK DOWN !!
Don't fuck around !! No,.. Let's do this the right way,
I sit down with your father, we talk about this, and he gives his permition.
You could be a little bitch here and take your clothes of, or I rip them
Yeah ...
Thanks. - We are going to make this heterosexual sex good.
Do as I say !! ....
take that fucking shit of now ...
Take it off...
I've got an idea...
try a little bit of dress up here, it will be erotic
What is this? You want to dress me like a man?
No it's just a beard.
- You want me to wear the beard? Come on it will be fun...
I don't need a beard ... Take it of now.
Get on your fucking knees and suck my spike here bitch.
I'm gonna be the straightest man who's ever lived.
And then I will be famous... You'll see, you'll see.
- 8 MONTHS LATER - Want to see some ass kicking tonight?
Make some noise, put your hands together for...
the host of a brand new Tv show "Straight Gays"
Are you ready for some man slamming action?
Who's ready for an old fashion hetro fest?
Are you 100% hetro, like me?
I want to hear you say, "Straight pride"
You know why? Because my asshole is just for shitting.
It's great to have an evening with straight people.
It's great not to have any fags here.
- Go faggot !! -Who called me a faggot ?
Who ever called me a faggot come out here and i'll beat your ass.
Who wants to see me, beat this faggot?
Subs made by - MISTER CERBERUS - --- mr_cerberus@live.nl ---
The footage went everywhere.
And Bruno became "Uber" famous .
As for Loutz ... We decided to get married in California.
But because of the law, we had to be a bit inventive .
I feel this is the biggest step you'll , ever make in your life now.
That's right.
Am I gonna be able to meet her, before we actually start?
Sure.
I don't marry two men or two women.
If she's a man, how did she gave birth to our son?
You gave birth to a little black child ?
Yes.
When did you had the baby?
I don't even know why i'm asking that.
But even though the marriage was a nish nish,
we weren't gonna let it get us down.
We were happy. We had each other and we had OJ back.
I was so famous that I was able to record my very own Charity Video.
I wrote a song that i hope is gonna bring the world together.
Put down your guns and bombs,
and just make love forever.
He's come to heal the world....
and make all nations calmer
I am the Austrian Jesus,
He is the white Obama.
War is based on hate and fear...
stop fighting North and South Korea.
You're really both Chinese.
It's Bruno the dove of peace.
Hey Bruno were are the bitches?
It's Bruno the dove of peace.
I had a dream for the 3rd World.
clean water, food and teaching.
In every village and every town...
a place for anal bleaching .
We need to free the world of hunger ...
I am like Bono but so much younger.
Hey's only 19 ...
I'm Bruno the peace dove.
Hey, hey... he's gay, he's gay ... Ok.
More My Movies: www.thepiratebay.org/user/Movie4All/